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Protected: Why I’m going on a 13-day vision quest and fasting alone in the desert for 4 days in July

Protected: Why I’m going on a 13-day vision quest and fasting alone in the desert for 4 days in July

July 2, 2019July 2, 2019 Tam

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Hello Forsythia! 🛑👀👆🏻🌸 🚶🏻‍♂️ 🚶🏼‍♂️ spacial distancing walk with Seven under blue skies and sunshine before the other humans come out. Came across this tape measure spread across this field and learned that 6 feet is closer then we thought. We explored a boneyard of owl pellets below some nesting owls high up in the pines. Sooo many tiny bones. Sooo many stories. Sooo many myths. Aside from the person I breathe air with at home, I am currently only seeing 2 other people...from a distance and only outside and only once a week. I only see these people because I know that they are taking the same careful precautions as me and my partner are. There has been such ample opportunity to talk about about consent and boundaries as we decide what risks to take or not take on a given day. Many of us do not have such luxury choices so I’m trying to make safe choices knowing many can’t. For me, this means going to the grocery store once every 2-3 weeks. Aside from that, my only outings are walks in my local green spaces and I never go during peak hours and avoid other humans as much as possible by avoiding well used trails and more popular areas. I’ve been thinking a lot about risk and mental health and how having a fun and solid pandemic team mate changes everything. My partner has been the best pandemic partner I could ever imagine. Also, being an introvert, boredom and loneliness is not something I know that well. I have an endless desire for alone time and a bottomless pit of projects and ideas. If anything, I have to make a better effort to pick up the phone and respond to those who reach out to me. So for my extroverted loved ones out there toughing this out alone, I see you and I love you and I look forward to the sweet reunion❤️ #pandemicreslience #pandemicstamina #6feetapart

A series of gifts; gifts from the forest, gifts from the neighborhood, gifts from my beloved, and a glimpse of my google calendar showing gifts of spaciousness. In this time of physical distancing, I see a surge of virtual offerings and social gatherings as our interconnectedness is so brightly highlighted. I watch the day to day sharing from those in "isolation" become hubs of connection. In the past 2 weeks, I have received a slew of invitations for zoom offerings and gatherings of all kinds. I have received numerous requests to provide virtual forest therapy experiences and have watched many of my guide colleagues quickly begin offering ongoing virtual forest therapy walks. I even attended one with my dear colleagues Geeta from Portugal along with participants from England, Austria, Malaysia, Portugal, Prague, Hungary, Slovenia, France, South Africa, Turtle Island and beyond. Some people were outside, some were inside looking out thru windows or connecting with house plants. It was tender and surprisingly connecting as have some of the other online gatherings I have attended. I am in inquiry about what I have to offer and when. Right now, I offer stillness and grief. I offer some calm in this boat in these choppy waters. I offer you one less decision, one less financial ask, one less thing to do, one less social interaction. Since this pandemic may be a long haul, I will wait to chime in until this initial wave of offerings and helpers need to rest. Right now I am resting, recovering, and discovering my own resilience so that I may step forward with authenticity when the time is right. I am enjoying the company of the more than human world, both in this physical realm and beyond. I am leaning into the sensations of the kinds of presence that religions and recovery programs have different names for. I am with my ancestors. Thank you Su Cousineau of Taproot Healing for the Sumac and the Elderberries, @oats.and.tea for surprise pancakes, @arnold_arboretum for finding ways to safely stay open so I may visit all my sit spots, and to all who are taking care of themselves and others with gentleness, love and compassion.

Views from my coniferous sit spot... #phytoncides #NKcells #whitebloodcells #naturalkillercells #easternwhitepine #hinokicypress #shinrinyoku #foresttherapy #immunesupport #naturerelationship #sitspot #deeprest #pandemic #techdetox #smellofpine #cypresssupport #cedar

@bagly_inc From BAGLY: “Dear Friends, As we confront a generation-defining moment in our world’s history, BAGLY, like so many organizations and individuals, has elected to make a difficult, and temporary, decision. Starting tomorrow, March 17th, 2020, BAGLY will be suspending the public use of our community center, which includes: our drop-in space; in-person support and identity meetings; and events. We have made this decision to be in keeping with our mission and values, which must support the health and well-being of our communities. We serve LGBTQ+ youth, who are in turn served by our elders, by people with compromised immune systems, and community members with chronic illnesses. It is the reminder of our interconnectivity that mandates our extreme care with those who are most vulnerable. This is BAGLY’s 40th anniversary year, and while we are absolutely facing new and unique challenges with regard to COVID-19 and the coronavirus, we are reminded that our organization has faced other critical threats before. Alongside the devastation of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, we grew a stalwart community that consolidated power, momentum, and advancement while facing challenges with little, or no, federal support. We can look back to our history to see how we can treat each other, and continue making progress, in the presence of unknown and intimidating challenges.”

Last of the sap boil @massaudubonmoosehill with Seven and losing a round of my favorite collaborative game with my mother who retired a few years ago after working in infection & disease control where she taught people how to wash their hands for 30 years. My mom was the first person to tell me about AIDS. I was 5. It was 1983 and she told me what AIDS was and how it was transmitted and told me never to get it. I then made it my mission to educate my peers in elementary school when they said things like “don’t touch the toilet, you’ll get AIDS!” I felt very passionate about taking every opportunity to correct people about AIDS as a child🤓. In the early 90’s I marched in a bunch of Boston AIDS walks chanting “Silence=Death” without fully understanding what that meant and eventually as an adult I would be unable to comprehend the devastation that my queer elders experienced during the AIDS crisis and make sure to listen fully whenever one of my queer elders shares their stories from that time. Been at my sit spot pondering humanity and practicing being in the present moment while lots of things slowly grind to a halt. Just trying to lean in to the sensation of curiosity and uncertainty and be grateful for all that I have. #sapsteam #pandemic #sitspot #love #havebeanswillshare

Compersion: “The feeling of joy one has experiencing another's joy, such as in witnessing another’s joy and feeling joy in response.” Reciprocity is an essential part of forest therapy that extends far beyond the relationship between 2 beings. It’s multilayered and spherical and naturally more equitable than it is equal. It includes sharing joy and a willingness to self reflect when feelings of fear, scarcity and insecurity arise in response to another’s win. In our modern industrialized world, jealousy is often an objectively acceptable response to another’s pleasure when we feel it’s at the expense of ours. Perhaps there is enough pleasure to go around and maybe our relationships with the more than human world can support us in finding more compersion✨ #foresttherapy #compersion #polyamory #sharingjoy #witnessingjoy #pleasure #love #morethanhuman