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Protected: Why I’m going on a 13-day vision quest and fasting alone in the desert for 4 days in July

Protected: Why I’m going on a 13-day vision quest and fasting alone in the desert for 4 days in July

July 2, 2019July 2, 2019 Tam

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Landed in Colorado this morning for “Queer Quest”, a 12-day Vision Quest program with School Of Lost Borders after a 1.5 years in the making. We “officially” begin tomorrow but today I will make my way to Buena Vista where I will meet my guides along with the other 9 participants and we will head into the backcountry, spending these first 5 nights camping in the backcountry, being in circle together, and preparing for the next stage by sharing our intentions and going over some logistics and safety protocol. Requesting prayers, blessings and thoughts during 7/14 - 7/18, during which time I will be alone in the high desert with nothing but water, a tarp, a journal, and a few basic items. I will be fasting and performing my own ceremony using my own symbols, my own prayers, and my own songs in ways that are relevant to my own life, situation and existential questions. Why? Because I don’t want to stumble and suffer through my life passages like a victim, a burden to myself and others so I may reduce the harm I cause myself, others and Earth and I don’t want to let the typical ups and downs of being human keep me in a constant state of panic, hysteria, shock, anxiety, depression, addiction, self hatred and sickness. Because I believe ceremonial practice supports finding meaning in the inevitable transitions of life and I am committed to re-membering this ancient wisdom of a rite of passage. Because I believe our collective co-created visions can be realized and support all beings. Because the gap between humans and our natural environment widens by the moment and living in modern industrialized civilization can dull my senses, clouding my ability to make sense of my life. Because I want to strip down to my heart, lean in to the sensation of feeling alive, allowing myself to fall into rhythm with the land. I want to know what it’s like to cry for a vision and then learn how to let go of the stories I am attached to and allow my myth to be realized so that I may bring it back. #schooloflostborders #queerquest #visionquest #visionfast #solofast #sacredmountain #riteofpassage #severance #threshold #incorporation #liminality #mythsystem #ancestralhealing

After an incredibly sunny and connecting forest bathing immersion on Peddocks Island with @bostonharbornow the ferry got us back to Long Wharf just in time. Thank you to @flourbakeryandcafe for packing us the most delicious and fun lunches! Join us for the next forest bathing retreat on Peddocks Island on Sunday, August 11th! Sign up soon as the next one is already half full! #bostonharbornow #bostonharborcruises #peddocksisland #forestbathing #naturetherapy #naturebathing #oceantherapy #islandtherapy #morethanhumanworld #forestbathingretreat #giftforthesea #oceanreciprocity #beachstories #heartmapping #treasure

We don’t need to go far to have a deep journey and we don’t need to have a deep journey to go far. Scouting Peddocks Island which is one of the Boston Harbor Islands, in preparation for our Forest Bathing Retreat with Boston Harbor Now! Join us Saturday, July 6th OR Sunday, August 11th. Ferry leaves from Long Wharf at 9am and returns by 5pm. Box lunch option available. Tix and more info in the link on my bio page 👉🏻 🏖⛴🐾🌲🌸 #forestbathing #foresttherapy #naturetherapy #oceantherapy #islandtherapy #islandretreat #negativeions #peddocksisland #bostonharbor #urbanwilderness #liminality #toadstoolwalks

What a festive day to turn 41 and celebrate my life with my Forest Therapy Guide training team; “The Forest Five” as well as the trainees and Christine the incredible cook who is a food magician making the most nourishing vegan and gluten free meals with lettuce picked daily from the field here at Bethel Farms. My day stared with a scavenger hunt orchestrated by my beloved stashing clues with my team since I’m away. Then I was led on a blissful Forest Therapy Walk, guided by Trainer Jackie thru a meadow of wild flowers. I came upon a patch of wild strawberries and felt moved to lie down with my face very close to a perfectly ripe one and then I ate it right off the vine. 😆🍓 My fellow guides sang me many songs and brought me lots of gifts of gathered flowers, tiny bouquets and stones. Then I went for a swim in this beautiful pond before lunch. After a long afternoon of content sessions, Christine made us the most amazing vegan mac and cheese with red lentil pasta among other delicious things and then some rhubarb crumb. Then I got to snuggle with my friend, Canyon, this sweet adorable dog. Thanks to all my peeps who blew up my phone with all the birthday love reminding me that “I’m a gift from the Earth. I’m so glad I’m alive. Bless this day of my birth 🎶 And happy birthday to you!❤️☺️🧚🏻‍♂️🍓🌲

New Hampshire bound to help train a new cohort of forest therapy guides on another weeklong intensive training with The Association of Nature and Forest Therapy! If you aren’t too far away, register for our public walk and come out and support these new guides! #foresttherapyguide #foresttherapyguidetraining #shinrinyoku #foresttherapy #forestbathing #naturetherapy #naturebathing #morethanhumanworld #wayoftheguide #reciprocity #natureconnection

The anticipation of the first poppy bud in our yard followed by the first bloom triggers much excitement in my house. From the words of @oats.and.tea “Each year these poppies take my breath away with their intense beauty and ephemeral quality. Here for such a short time yet showing up so fully and completely themselves. Their petals are so tender and with a heavy rain or strong wind, their already short lifespan can sometimes become shorter still. And yet they open themselves so completely to the world.” #poppywisdom #impermanence #plantteachings

Songs Of The Wild was a truly restorative, connecting, inspiring and deeply restful day in the Berkshires. My deepest gratitude to Carrie Grossman for taking this risk with me and guiding us so beautifully through sound. Thank you to all the folks who attended, bringing your hearts and you selves to the circle. Pure bliss dropping into forest therapy with you in this place. Thank you to @oats.and.tea for creating an incredibly nourishing lunch and for your nurturing and always authentic presence. Thank you to @mettabeefarm for your beautiful barn and farm. Thank you to the land for all your wisdom and support: the willows and your raining yellow leaves, the roosters and hens, the swallows, hawks, sheep, clover, worms, rocks, wildflowers and all the beings. Mohican Land What’s alive in me this morning is my body. This weird complex system that my soul currently resides in. This thing that so often feels restrictive and confining and confusing. I’ve been trying to make friends with this body and the progress feels as slow as the willows grow. Yesterday I felt more in my body than I have in a while and I was able to notice this, to celebrate it and to be in the sensation of it’s aliveness. Thank you Carrie for reminding us of our belonging within and without and to everyone for who shared from your heart. I was listening and I still am. #songsofthewild #soundhealing #grief #evolution #foresttherapy #forestbathing #natureconnection #natureretreat #morethanhumanworld #morethanhumankin #naturetherapy #toadstoolwalks #deeprest #ancestralwisdom

Thank you @emeraldnecklaceconservancy for sponsoring today’s forest bathing walk at Franklin Park and bringing together a sweet group of folks including my dad who seemed to drop right into his first experience forest bathing with his humor and his heart. #foresttherapy #forestbathing #naturetherapy #naturebathing #shinrinyoku #foresttherapyguide #liminality #natureconnection #birdsong #emeraldnecklace #franklinpark #roxburypuddingstone #wildernessgrove #urbantreecanopy #techdetox #unplugged #tendingrelationships #morethanhumankin #morethanhumanworld #sensoryactivity

Pure joy guiding these professors visiting from University of Delhi in India. They were looking to unwind before heading to a conference at Harvard Medical School where they will present their work on stress management. #foresttherapyguide #stressmanagement #techdetox #landconnection #natureconnection #airbnbexperience #forestbathing #foresttherapy #wearenature

Songs Of The Wild daylong immersion is June 2nd. More info at ToadstoolWalks.com link in profile 👈🏻 #foresttherapy #naturetherapy #forestbathing #naturebathing #sacredsong #retreat #immersion #circle #soundhealing #sacredrest #slowdown #unplug #berkshires #mettabeefarm #reset #foresttherapyguide #landconnection #natureconnection #wearenature #morethanhumanworld #morethanhumankin #tendingrelationships

I invite you to lean against a forest being. I wonder what this place smells like? I wonder who was the first lilac to bloom here over 200 years ago. I wonder who is blooming for the first time today @arnold_arboretum #lilactherapy #foresttherapy #forestbathing #foresttherapyguide #languageofinvitation

I recently learned that when a baby is born with ovaries that they are born with all their eggs which means that whoever birthed that baby was born with the egg that would one day grow that baby which means that we came into being in an egg at the birth of the person who would then eventually birth us. Fun fact about my mom: she’s been reading tarot since the 70’s. Here she is shuffling the same deck she’s had for over 40 years. She’s been giving me readings since I was a small child. #ancestralhealing #ancestralwisdom #ancestraltrauma #life #otherworlds #queenofcups #doors